the dream

Patchwork images
Flicker through my mind
Snapshots of what once was
Remnants of dreams half spoken
Whispered promises
Now lost in time.

Do you remember?
A life lived only in a dream
Promises built out of lies.
Hearts shattered upon awakening.
Fragmented beyond repair.
The dream is lost.
Eyes wide open to a scream.
Internal.
Eternal.
Deafening as it crescendos.
Waves crashing silently upon the fields.

January 28, 2019

Thank you

To my best friend who told me she hated me because I could write and draw and do something that she couldn’t do,

Thank you for making me question my inner talent and belief in myself.

To those that have made me feel lesser for wanting to perfect my craft instead of cleaning the house,

Thank you for helping me build my resolve to follow my dreams and listen to my heart.

To those that have told me I was rude and inconsiderate for giving a compliment,

Thank you for teaching me that not everyone deserves praise even when it’s heartfelt.

To the employer that told me publishing a book I spent the better part of my life writing was the reason for not being hired,

Thank you for reminding of where my priorities lay.

To the man who told me I made bad decisions after being laid off for the seventh time in eight years,

Thank you for reminding me of what direction I should take.

To those that have held me down when I have fallen hard and could not get back up,

Thank you for testing my inner strength and reason to carry on.

For those that have sat with me in the darkness and loved me when I didn’t even like myself,

Thank you for reminding me of who I am and what I am capable of.

6/16/2018

This life

Is not the one that I planned.
Yet it is perfection.

6.4.2018

I am not who you think I am

When we are born, the box we are to fill is already in place

expectations unleashed

stereotypes at the ready.

As we grow older we are taught simple rules:

How to act,

                around others

How to speak,

                when spoken to

How to behave,

                wise and demure

Without opinion outside the norm.

Without objection to the status quo.

We are taught to make lists in order to be productive

That happiness comes in twos

And to be one is to be lonely, and afraid.

That if you do not have a partner, that something is inherently wrong with you

One plus one

The other half

The better half

And to be anything less is to be less yourself.

We are taught that in order to be successful,

We must play the part.

Obtain a role laid out for us by the status quo.

To follow a dream is only for the weekend

After the chores are done,

                the to-do list checked off

To follow a dream is to live in a dream

                Outside of reality

                                Outside of the norm

A freak

A dreamer

A paradox

Invalid.

Success is only measured within the box.

I am not who you want me to be.

I can never be,

                will never be,

Could never live stifled.

I am who I was meant to be.

5.31.2018